the-psycho-cutie:

i didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever

friskygrandma:

I!!!DONT!!!WANNA!!!CARE!!!ABOUT!!!MY!!!WEIGHT!!! BUT!!!I!!!DO!!!

heliolisk:

Its not really summer unless the radio has found 2-3 songs to overplay the shit out of

idahoing:

clamjob:

unirony:

werewolfsquad:

Bulldog/lab mix holy shit

i wrestled a kid with these proportions in highschool

wheres its neck?

with god

^

frostingpeetaswounds:

the fact that ellen doesn’t have to insult celebrities to be funny makes her 500% more amazing then she already is

posted 3 months ago via ezxl · © kimplz with 242,979 notes

macklemorethanlikely:

hearing your parents nearing your door aka how fast can you clean your room

ruinedchildhood:

when you say “bless you” to someone before they actually sneeze

image

puralize:

you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly

helenas-hood:

gllob:

a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced

I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”

brianmalik:

if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away 

posted 3 months ago via ezxl · © shalrath with 237,007 notes

likasashes:

puscyiffer:

remember when half of tumblr simultaneously disregarded the law of conservation of mass because of a gif with a chocolate bar on it

image

thewicked-eternity